5 Sept 2010 18:13 The loser

Staring at the evening sky, starlight shines through while the sun is away. She looks up into the dark firmament, searches and looks on, she waits and listens, she is deep in thought. In a little while, darkness would prevail throughout but she insists on scrutinizing the heaven with considerable perseverance… …

The waiting and the listening grow intense with her sanity. Time is tickling away and towards the tympanic membrane in her pair of ears, now it becomes a rhythm in which her heart and mind follow. Lights above the sky is turning into a picture, framed and hung on her painting walls. Thoughts gyrate wildly out of focus, suddenly the picture on the walls disappear followed by standstill of time. Without flow of time, thoughts become hampered in a chaotic fluid chamber, sanity within consciousness is vexed, heartbeat replaces the tickling of time. Right now, the view of the night sky is only a show of emptiness full of perplexing thoughts. The thoughts within her mind seem to be revealing some kind of reality, some kind of controlled reality. It is controlled because the equation of reality tells us that such revelation comes with predictable or foreseeable consequences. The consequences of being opposite of the winner, a loser, is what causing all the trance-like disturbances in her mind. She holds her head down because she learns that a loser is what she is and realizes that the whole world is stooping over to give her this message before anyone else`s realization. She fears not and grumbles not, she gives way to passing of time, she does not turn around and regrets her realization. But she simply walks over it. She knows for sure her sanity has not lied so the fact is accepted.

In the night where there is light, she looks up into the sky once again, because she knows she is a loser but not despite of being a loser.  So, when she turns her vision towards the sky once again, the lost picture on the painting walls is back in place this time. For her, nothing in this world is ever meant to be perfect. Space is borderless, time is lost, generation is repeated, broken hearts are mended, thoughts are confused, nothing that is perfect could save our imperfect reality which we each face.

Though the world is beautiful, but we are only humans… …


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